Jonah Is Hexed

It’s time for Hollywood to wake up. Honestly. It is time for them to realize everything that glitters is not gold. When something is shiny it doesn’t mean they have substance. Case in point: Megan Fox!

A lot of critics have panned Jonah Hex. I hate to be one who piles on, but there really is no redeeming quality to the film. The writing is stupid at best, the direction was tantamount to community theater, and the acting was horrible. And the worst problem? None of it was bad enough to be good. You couldn’t even enjoy it as some cheesy B movie. It was THAT bad.

Let’s start with the writers. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor collaborated on this piece of crap. I wasn’t expecting a lot from the co-writers of Crank, but they did get paid for this, right? I think they need to give the money back or give it to charity. There was zero character development from the start. None of the actors, in my opinion, had much to work with from the script. What makes this worse is they have a comic book to use as guidance. Did they even read them? Did they even read one of them? These guys should never work again. Period.

Let’s move on to the director, Jimmy Hayward. His resume is all over the map. He has done a lot of work in animation, most notably with Pixar. This means he’s had plenty of chances to see how to develop a story. Yet, I really want to mail him a copy of Directing For Dummies. He had zero idea what he was doing. He relied heavily on the actors to tell the story. He may have thought with the likes of Josh Brolin and John Malkovich he was safe in letting them go, but he should’ve realized the script was horrible and could only be saved by any type of vision. He failed and failed big.

Lastly, let’s talk about the most overhyped actress I’ve ever seen. Fox is beyond terrible. I mean, seriously, we know she can’t act. We know she is there to run around half-naked and look pretty, but could somebody please write a role for her where she can just stand in the background and not say ANYTHING? Benji has more acting ability than Fox and that might be an understatement.

The small saving grace is Brolin. He is a masterful actor. I fully believe he gave this role everything he had (as he always does), but had to battle a horrible script and sub-par acting around him. Even Malkovich sucked and I love that man. I think he gave up, cashed his check, and went swimming.

I wasn’t expecting Jonah Hex to be on the same level with Iron Man. However, I was hoping it would honor the comic book. Comic book fans are rabid. Jonah Hex is somebody’s favorite comic book. People who decide to make any comic book into a movie need to keep them in mind. Yes, they should be allowed to make a few changes in order to make the movie work, but the people surrounding this movie did nothing to ensure Jonah Hex fans were remotely satisfied. Epic fail!