Jock Supporter

Were you the kid who was picked last on the playground or in gym class to play simple games, like badminton? Were you the kid who always HATED to play any sort of sport for fear you might snap a leg? Or were you the kid who knew for a fact you had no shred of athletic ability whatsoever, but gave it everything you had in losing effort after losing effort? I was lucky. I actually had athletic ability. I just hated most athletes. However, I think Chris Evans is about to get a serious smack down when it comes to his “ability” as an actor.

I’ve hated Evans as the pick for Captain America from day one. He has a body of work that has been lackluster, uninteresting, and frat boy-ish from the word “go.” Now, he lands the coveted role other actors were to surely nail. Yes, I believe he is a worse pick than Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern and that’s saying something!

Need proof? I look no farther than the people cast to surround Evans. These names include Stanley Tucci, Hugo Weaving, Tommy Lee Jones, Toby Jones, and Vincent D’onofrio. All of these guys can hold their own with any actor in the known universe (and probably the unknown universe). Evans will sink and sink badly, but, at least he will look great with his shirt off!

In saying all of this, I think director Joe Johnston is a mad scientist. I think he realizes Evans is a horrible actor and he will not let this movie fail. There is no other explanation why the supporting cast has more talent in their bowel movements than the lead actor has in this life and all his past lives combined.

This movie is going to be huge. Johnston is not an idiot. His name is going to be on this film and it will be good. He has the hard task of making something viable out of something that has no viability. He has to make true movie magic and it starts with surrounding the terrible athlete…I mean actor…with a lot of talent.

To me Evans is the kid that would never be picked in an acting war. He, in essence, is a right-fielder when it comes to talent. Now, I know he will make more movies than I ever will and have the fame, glory, money, and girls for the rest of his life, but Hollywood is full of actors who believe they are the Second Coming of James Dean and have nothing to base it on except ego.

I don’t think I’ve ever criticized a movie this much before they start filming. They seem to have a lot of issues early on and it worries me a bit. However, with the star-studded supporting cast, I can only see good things for this picture in the end. I believe Jones, Tucci, D’onofrio and the gang will either drown Evans in their talent or he will have to swim in order to keep up with theirs. I really, truly hope none of them become his impromptu acting coach on the set. Don’t give this douche bag any advice. You’re all better than that. Let him make his own bed.

Wow. That was quite a vent. I suddenly have an urge to play dodge ball. See you next week.