Wanted: One Photo Taking Web Slinger

It’s a rough world out there these days. There’s little doubt about it. Many people are out of work and will do just about anything for money. They’d like to make a living, but, money can sometimes mask that.

Speaking of masks and money, Marvel plans on firing Peter Parker this week in order to sell comic books….I mean in order to give Parker a new profession. Sorry for the slip. I do that sometimes. I guess when Marvel thought of ways to relate to fans they decided they needed a character who could relate to them. So, Peter Parker, you’re fired! Hit the bread lines, kid. It’s a cold world out there.

Comic sites and blogs have been weighing in on this decision. Some like it some don’t. You know us comic book fans, if you mess with our characters we will revolt. And, let’s face it, this is a big change.

It’s not like Peter Parker had some noble profession. He was a photojournalist for crying out loud. Sure, his pictures looked nice, but what value is that to society? I think this is a smart move by Marvel to give Parker a better, fresher, and more kickass profession. Besides, unemployed Parker means more time for Spidey to fight crime. And who doesn’t want that?

What I really like about this move, more than the career change for Parker, is the way they are firing him. Joe Quesada announced Parker would receive his pink slip because of an ethics violation. Ethics in journalism? Aren’t they about violations? Who knew? Still, it’s better than just downsizing the department or something unimaginative. It should make for a better read.

This leads me to my next line of thinking. What should be Parker’s next job? If you think about it, he needs something that will free him up and allow him a chance to fight crime. He can’t be a factory worker or a desk jockey. They have to stay put.

Before you think of the obvious answer of getting hired at another paper, Quesada has already zapped that idea. Not only does Jameson fire Parker, but he blackballs him from every paper in the city. Yes, Parker could move to Iowa and work for the Des Moines Register, but it’s awfully hard to fight Venom and Carnage in New York when you have to take pictures of Little Miss Corn Stalk. Besides, corn isn’t nearly as fun to swing from as tall skyscrapers!

My first thought was for Parker to become a writer or a poet. Nobody slacks more than those guys. They write for a few days, take a month off, and do it again. I should know. But, something tells me that is too easy for Marvel. They like adventure. They’d have to make him something action-ey. Like a tower dog or a building clock repairman. At least he would be able to use his climbing ability.

So, I leave it to you Master Digital Color fans. What do you think Peter Parker’s next profession should be? Post it below in the comments box.