Efron To Play Spider-Man (No, Seriously)

Have you ever spewed a drink across the room? I know we’ve seen it done on television and in movies time and again, but have you actually ever done it? I have choked on a drink after hearing something, but I have yet to spew. Today, I am no longer a spewing virgin.

What made me project my mocha frappuccino (shut up) across the room? I read a headline. Zac Efron To Take Over As Spider-Man. Yep, spewage at that point!

Zac Efron? Really? Zac Efron? The dude from High School Musical? The kid trying to outact Matthew Perry in 17 Again? THAT Zac Efron? DEEP SIGH.

So I did what any red-blooded American would do at that point. I hopped on the Internet. I had to see if this was true or a dream. Not only did I find out it was true, but I also found out Efron has his hand in another comic book to movie project. It isn’t clear what role he will play exactly, but the reports are Efron will play a part in the upcoming movie Fire. As you already know, Fire is a D.C. character first introduced in the late 1970s in the Super Friends series. She later made a mainstream splash as part of Infinity, Inc. in 1986. Efron is slated to play “a hero role.”

Now, this is the part that I usually go into a tirade and bash the executives for giving this guy credence. I mean, honestly, does he have the resume to be Spider-Man? No. At least Tobey Maguire was a well-established actor. In fact, Maguire held his own with several Oscar-worthy actors in many films leading up to his days as Spider-Man. He is, however, not going to make another Spidey film, which leaves the door open for Efron.

Here is one, small glimmer of light about this whole thing. Efron got the role because Maguire recommended him for it. How did that come about? Who in the hell knows? Maybe they are lovers. Maybe Maguire sees Efron as a charity case. Maybe Efron paid him off. I have no clue. But, a person has to consider that maybe, just maybe, Maguire believes in Efron’s abilities. Would he really hand the web slingers over to just anybody?

This, of course, doesn’t settle the stomach of Spider-Man fans after the last movie. Spider-Man 3 was a total waste of time. They should’ve spent that money to feed hungry children. It would’ve been better for the world.

Another point that bothers me is Maguire’s exit as the lead character. Does he have inside information about the script of the next movie? Did he think it was more in line with the third installment? Is that why he is leaving? These are all very legitimate questions surrounding this decision.

I will give Efron credit for one thing. He didn’t want to be typecast as a singer and dancer. He has said many times he wants to be taken seriously as an actor. Well, Big Boy, you have your chance. You have been thrust into the limelight of comic book critics. Some have likened it to a root canal, the Nazi siege on Germany, and being fed to the lions at the same time. I sure hope he’s ready or else Spidey and Fire will both go down in flames.